Category Archives: funny

This ‘n that…

This ’n that

He said ‘this’

And she said ‘that’

‘This’ will never be ‘that’

‘That’ will never be ‘this’

You can talk about ‘this’ and ‘that’

But whatever it is you are talking about

‘This’ will never be ‘that’

No matter what

What does it matter you say?

Well it matters – kind-of-a-way

Because ‘this’ means certain clear things

And ‘that’ something completely different

They have ’t-h’ in common

With ‘this’ you might agree

But you might disagree with ‘that’

Their common ’t-h’s’ – calms them down

At least on ‘this/that’ we can agree

But never try to make this – that

Unless you add ‘…and the other’

‘…And the other’ can consist of a great deal

So to finish:

‘This that and the other’

Is vast and universal

Hope in ‘this’ you get my gist

Or is it ‘that’…?

Over-righteous?

Over-righteous?

I was thinking the other day – how reverence for God has dwindled greatly.

But is quickly restored when He shows up!

We are natural beings. Contaminated with a disease called sin. We can speculate, philosophy, or theological-ise about the things of God, finding fault with what we don’t understand but…

Our opinions mean nothing when God shows up.

“Where is He?” The skeptic, agnostic or atheist asks.

You will know one day – if not before!

Paul the apostle says on one occasion:

When I therefore was thus minded, did I use lightness? (Or fickleness)

Life is a serious business. But there is a part of our humanness we should embrace. We can sternly set ourselves to be religious – stiff upper lip and all that, but this is not necessarily spiritual, or of merit.

The fact is – humour exists.

Sometimes the most godly humans are those who have a ‘jolly’ outlook. They realise there is a time for everything under the sun.

They can compose themselves and meditate upon their awesome Heavenly Father.

And (-yes) when God shows up – all lightness and fickleness goes. (But the Joy of The Lord remains).

Sometimes when we write on the serious and awesome things of God – some might not take us seriously when we don’t wear a frown. Perhaps in their hearts accusing us of phoney-ism, because we can also write on the lighter things of life.

Sometimes it’s true that there is a fine line between fun, laughter, humour – and foolish jesting. (Eph. 5/4). Know where the line is and don’t cross it.

There is a Scripture that comes to mind:

Ecclesiastes 7:16 

Do not be over-righteous neither be over-wise – why destroy yourself?

What the scripture is not saying is that unrighteousness is ok. But it is reminding us that there is none good, but God. And that our own righteousness is as filthy rags.

According to (I Cor. 8/1) knowledge puffs up. It is good to try to – not take ourselves too seriously – even if we have been shown a few things, lest we are puffed-up with pride and enter into Pharisee-ism.

Paul was aware of this danger and said:

2 Corinthians 12:7 (Amp.)

Because of the surpassing greatness and extraordinary nature of the revelations [which I received from God], for this reason, to keep me from thinking of myself as important, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan, to torment and harass me—to keep me from exalting myself!

Know’d by clothes

KNOW’D BY CLOTHES

(It might be helpful to listen to this

with Popeye’s voice in mind?)

So yi’s knows

I’m in my best clothes

I suppose they’ll get crinkled

If I goes for a doze

                    ***

I chose these clothes

Back in the day

They still stands by me

That’s all I can say

                    ***

So I’ll brush ‘em down

Won’t be dozing on the ground

Just prop myself up here

At the bar with this beer

                    ***

Every now and again I

Look at myself in the glass

And – at others as they pass

And think ‘he’s a well-dressed’

                    ***

Non-crinkled mass

They’ll probably ask

Who my tailor is

And I will proudly say

The same tailor as yesterday

                    *** 

And as we exchange addresses

E-mail addresses – I will let them know

Me tailor’s name on Saville Row

                    ***

Before they go – they’ll buy me a beer

Folks – I will assail with many’s a tale

They will laugh and each – with pats on the back

Will bid me ‘farewell until the next time’

                    ***

When I shall stand in a new suit

One  that costs less loot

Ready for all the looks

Yi’d think I was some kinda freak

                    ***

A mannequin that all want to meet

“He’s ever so neat”

But he’s got big feet

Wearing clothes yi couldn’t beat

Soccer – boring

SOCCER – BORING

In the gym

Climbing those climbing frames

Slowly but surely

I managed that thing

Glad when I heard the bell ring

                    ****

The bell rung

Clothes back on

Out the door for better fun

English classes

Best for me

To these I did run

                    ****

Didn’t like too much horseplay

All delicate – I be

Until some Physical development

At least enough for me

                    ****

Becoming a little more tough

Football – soccer by name

That was for me

That was my game

                    ****

Crossing the ball –

My Pièce de résistance

Onto your head

Precisely meant

My gift was heaven sent (?)

                    ****

Played in spare time

Didn’t make the big time

Just loved the game

But things are no longer the same

                    ****

Soccer has become

A regimented bore

Keep the ball on the floor

Whatever you do

Don’t cross the ball

Seems no one knows

How to do that – at all

                    ****

i.e. ’Precisely’ – I mean

                    ****

What I glean

From what I see

Is that balls are not made of

The material they used to be

                    ****

(?)

Enough…

Enough…

Is a long poem

One written on a toilet roll?

                  ***

Is a sink only a sink

If it has a sunken basin?

                  ***

Is a pip – all seeds

Or only fit for an orange?

                  ***

Is progression ever made backwards?

Or is digression – retrograde?

                  ***

When is enough enough?

Is it ever enough?

As there is always more

Is there not?

                  ***

Enough said…

Cohabiting?

Cohabiting?

There’s a tiny little fly cohabiting with me

Seasons come and seasons go

The tiny little fly is gone betimes

                        ***

Only to return at a particular season

“Where were you?”

I verbalise

No answer comes back – I’m not surprised

                        ***

And then he’s gone

No… no he’s not…

Don’t forget I can hardly see him

I clap my hands

                        ***

Welcoming his arrival – you surmise?

No I’m afraid I am a tyrant to the fly

I only seek his demise

…love of words

FOR THE LOVE OF WORDS

Back in the day

As they usually say

When push came to shove

A lark and a dove

But best of all please…

Can’t please! –

all the people – all of the time

I mean –

no I don’t mean to be mean

The main thing – if we get lost

Is to find in the lost and found

A half crown

Two and sixpence

It was once known as…

There once was Daz

Washing white as snow

Your ma’s and your da’s

As local colloquialism’s would go

Washed with their hands in the sink

They were sunk if they had no sink

But just think…

Washing machines were

New fangled gear – not everywhere

Everywhere and nowhere baby…

That’s where you’re at

All over the place

A confused confession of

The crazy-mixed-up-kid

Playing with words as I like to do

Hope I haven’t confused you?

Mixed-up-ness

MIXED-UP-NESS 2021

😅

And all mixed up – they be

But mixed up is par for the course

You share your mixed-up-ness

And they will share their’s

And all will be revealed of

How mixed up all be

Albeit not all at once

Or the mixed-up-ness will

Clearly not be clear

When the mixed-up Conglomerate

doesn’t display

The individual mixed-up-ness

For all to see